What Im thinking right now....

I gots to stick to the script. If I am going to write this, I must keep it 100% real, right?? Right. So the other night, I danced with the Devil. Actually we sleep together, as in, the same bed...minimal touching. (for real...light cuddling and I ran my fingers through her hair a few times (she loves that) ) I smelt the smell. That familiar scent. I missed that shit for 8-9 months..this has been our longest manic episode. I got high. I won't lie. I soaked it in, stayed in the moment and for glimmers of seconds, it felt real. It felt like before. But it's not. This last hiatus has made me a lot wiser and I know I must stick to what I know is true. The next day she texted me and told me how she needed that and no one else can make her feel that way...I grinned for a second, I guess that's what one does...but in the next second, I know it's bullshit. The Devil is crafty. She means me no good. To me, she comes with the familiar, but now I know better....it's all part of the routine. I have learned to listen with actions and not with comes out of her mouth and if I really get into that, we don't really even have a friendship to cling to...she's is not my friend. And to add to all that, I think she is possibly too deep into whatever it is she is really into....everything she says isn't really the truth so I will never really know. Don't think I want to. But my N2ition told me something the other day and this time, I think I am going to listen.