what i am thinking....

I have been thinking it is time to let go of the past. Time to let go of old habits, behaviors, people,etc. Destroy and rebuild, Nas said that right? and I know he is pretty smart so he must have got that from somewhere, right?? But for real though, I am so much of a sentimental person, I hang onto shit when others will not. When no one should not. But no longer. It's harder to say bye to some, than others but in the end, it is all for the greater good , is it not? I am beginning to see that I have been missing so much of the beauty that is going on today because I often cling to the past. The most unlikely (she should be the most likely) of people made me realize that today :0)

On another note, a huge part of my faith was restored, or re-strengthened, or something, today. I was having a pretty shitty morning and I called a good friend. (one who i spazzed out on recently for no good reason...ok, well I had a reason but still.) We were having a convo and she was telling be to basically be more positive and patient and have faith, etc and I was telling her how my faith is exhausted and God never answers me, yada yada ya. She told me I need to communicate with God more clearly and I was telling her how I do, and it's not working and I dont feel like God is fucking with me (yes, I really said that...sorry) anyways, we got off the phone because she had work to do and I needed to shower. While I was on the toilet, before I got in the shower, I talked to God (or I tried my version) and I asked for a sign. As soon as I got off the toilet, my phone rang and I got a job. Now the cynic in me would say, coincidence but you know what, Im going to say God answered me because he wanted me to have FAITH that he is listening.

I am on the right route - This Drake shit -"The Last Hope" is my theme music right about now......I am coming.